workin' it

"Faith is more than belief: it produces its own work. Faith works itself out in love (Gal. 5:6)."  ~ Rollin Grams

day 25

we just had a wonderful Thanksgiving day.  and, there are so many things that i am truly thankful for.  trav and i were chatting today about how it's so nice that i don't have to drive across the cities on these cold, blustery nights, that we get to share this place we call home, and that thanksgiving day starts and ends with him by my side.  but, one of the bonuses of marrying trav that made my thanksgiving day really rich this year, is marrying into his family.  i do so love my in-laws, and i am so blessed to now share their name.

day 25:  so, on this twentififth day of november, thanksgiving day, 2010, i'm thankful for the family i have gained by saying "i do."

day 24

when someone asks me what my favorite class was or who my favorite professor was while i was at Gordon Conwell, i have a hard time limiting it down to one.  i usually can come close to three, but even that is a difficult thing to do.  that said, one of my top three professors is Dr. Gary Parrett and one of the top three classes was a class he taught called Worship and Christian Formation.  though the hope is that most classes transform you in some way, only a few classes did i walk away and say "that just radically changed my life."  Dr. Parrett's course opened my eyes to different forms of worship, Scriptural backing for them, and the need for sensitivity as we engage our culture while not dumbing down our faith.  this course was the beginning of my walk into worship ministry.  and, though i don't know where my road is going, the walk has been good.  my time crafting services and worshiping behind a piano has been rich.  and, even amidst the pain and turmoil i have experienced leading worship in the church, at the thought of it, my heart pines after leading worshipers into the Lord's throne-room once more.

Dr. Parrett was in a devastating accident last summer, and this morning i received this CaringBridge update:  http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/garyparrett.  oh, friends!  God has done good things. and, in-spite of the pain, is redeeming the situation again and again.

day 24:  today i am thankful for so many things...  a wonderful seminary education that did dramatically change my life; incredible professors who humbly teach tomorrow's (and today's) leaders, the opportunity to lead on earth the activity that we will engage in throughout eternity; Dr. Parrett; God's healing hand; and God's commitment to redeem what is painful and broken with a promise to someday make all things new.  and until then...  we gratefully wait what is yet to come.

day 23

"For the word of God is living and active.  Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart."  ~ Hebrews 4:12

day 23:  ...for this i am thankful.

day 22

trav and i had a wonderful weekend with my family down in ioway.  we went down so that he could do some hunting with my bro, and so that we could celebrate my niece's birthday.  i love my family.  and, i love the way they love trav, and he loves them.  i'm thankful for my siblings and their families.  i'm also very thankful for two parents that love me and each other.  and, i love that travis is now my family!

day 22:  i'm so thankful for my family.

day 21

three months.  three months!  we've been married for three months.  and, though there have been hard days and difficult conversations, we both agree we would do it again!  :)  i'm so thankful for my husband.  i waited a long, long time for him, but he is so worth it.  he's my beloved.  he gets me.  i love the way he loves the Lord.  i love his generous heart, his deep compassion, his ability to experience life through emotion.  i love the way he digs into theology and its application to life.  i love the way he is ok with being challenged and is willing to grow in the midst of it.  i love the way he loves his family, and the way he loves mine now, too. and, i love the way he loves me...just to name a few of the reasons i'm crazy about him!  :)

day 21:  i'm very, very thankful for my travis

day 20

we came down to iowa so that travis could do a little deer hunting in south dakota.  and, after three weeks (2 in minnesota and 1 down here), a deer crossed his path at just the right time.  hearing his stories and the fun he had with my brother makes me thankful he was able to shoot one.

day 20:  i'm thankful my husband shot a deer and a nice one at that (boy that seems an odd thing to be thankful for...)

day 19

my father seems to rest best when she is busy.  i might argue that i married someone who is really similar in that way.  i, however, need to rest by sitting down and letting the thoughts ruminate in my mind.  musing makes me a better person in a lot of ways.  often my days of musing are the days that apologies are born, creative ideas take shape, and prayers for those i love are uttered.  there are few things i enjoy more than waking in the morning with a free day before me.  today has been one of those days, and i think it is the first in a couple of weeks.  i liked it.

day 19:  i'm thankful for a free day to muse and catch up on life.

day 18

today i spent much of the day cleaning.  while there is something romantic about the thought of living a hundred years ago with its simplicity, daily chores, and family-centric lifestyle, i'm really thankful that i have a vacuum cleaner, clorux clean-up, and  other products that making cleaning easier.

day 18:  i'm thankful for the things that make cleaning easier.

day 17

yup, i'm way behind.  it's really not a surprise to me.  what is a surprise, is that this exercise has (regardless whether or not i blog about it) pushed me to cultivate gratitude toward my Lord.  it has challenged me to see good in harder situations and to stop and recognize the many, many blessings that abound in my life.  so, that said...  here is day 17.

day 17:  naps...especially naps when it's cold outside, but warm under your blanket.  and, i'm thankful that i have a husband who supports and a job that allows naptime (at least on Wednesdays).

day 16

we were married on aug 21.  it's now november 17.  we just finished our thank yous...  while i'm very glad so many people were able to celebrate us and could come to the wedding, i must say i am very thankful to have the thank yous in the mail.

day 16: i'm thankful that the thanking is done (at least to the best of our ability - if you don't get one in the next week or so, it's the post office's fault ;) ).

day 15

i'm celebrating with my friends Isaac and Christy (and their plethora of friends and family) at the birth of their second child.  i'm also celebrating the pregnancy of a friend that has been long-awaited and is going well.  and, i'm celebrating through thankfulness and praise the One who speaks life into being.

day 15 (still celebrating even though it's a day late): new life in its wide array of forms.

day 14

i experienced a warm welcome at church tonight.  i drank in truth in a great message.  i praised the Lord through well-led worship.  i engaged in rich conversation.  in all of this things, i witnessed God's children exercising their gifts.   and, for these gifts i am thankful.  but, more than that, i'm thankful that God sees fit to use us to accomplish His divine purposes and gifts us with different abilities to accomplish His work.

day 14:  i'm thankful the Lord trusts and equips us to build His Kingdom.

an oversight

"My tiredness was so deep that it seeped into my bones.  I was out more nights than I was home. No matter how many new day planners I bought, none of them told me when I had done enough. If I spent enough time at the nursing home then I neglected to return telephone calls, and if I put enough thought into the vestry meeting then I was less likely to catch mistakes in the Sunday bulletin. As soon as I managed to convince myself that these were not cardinal sins, one of them would result in an oversight that caused a parishioner's meltdown. "  - Barbara Taylor Brown, Leaving Church

day 13

last night trav and i went out to the farm before the big storm hit so that we could get up early and go deer hunting.  as we climbed in the truck to make our way home tonight, we heard on the radio that 54,000 people were without power in the twin cities.  since we weren't sure if our cozy little home would have electricity or not, i prepared myself for an evening of candles, cards and cold food.  when we returned home, we had power, but the ride back to the cities reminded me how much i use/need electricity.

day 13:  so, tonight in our warm home, i am very thankful for our electricity.

day 12

after two minnesota winters without a garage, as i look at the forecast for 6-10 inches of snow, i'm quite thankful that i have a spot in the garage to park my little honda.

day 12:  in the words of homer simpson, i'm thankful for my car hole.

goodbye fall...

[slideshow]

day 11

the celebration of Veteran's Day makes today's thankful post pretty easy.  as i hear stories of the sacrifices men and women make for my freedom, i am humbled.  i'm not only talking about the lives that have been lost to gain our freedom, but i'm also referring to the little pieces of life that are lost to keep me living in the America we know today.  for instance: the year of their child's life that some servicemen and women lose when they are sent halfway across the world.  or, the piece of themselves that is lost when they see another die in a traumatic way.  or, the part of them that dies as they carry out the operations sent from their superior.  i am quite sure that most of us have no idea what the cost of freedom truly is.

day 11: yes, i am very thankful for all of the sacrifices made by all of the servicemen and women who have served or are serving this country.

day 10

this morning i bought a phone card off the internet.  with a few exchanged passwords, a couple of numbers off of my credit card, and $6.00, i purchased 100 minutes of talking time to Cambodia.  my beloved friend has lived there just over a year, and i am so thankful that we are still in touch through phone, facebook, and internet.  i’m not sure when i will be able to give her a giant hug again, but the Lord has granted us a great gift in enabling us to keep up on a regular basis.

day 10:  i’m thankful that i’m able to keep in touch with loved ones half way across the world.

 

day 9

i am thoroughly enjoying a book by Barbara Brown Taylor.  the beauty in her language and honesty in her words is inspiring.  trav read some of barth tonight which led to some good questions to ponder.  i appreciate the wisdom passed down in written form which comes from voices both past and present, young and old, men and women, and the list goes on.

day 9:  i'm thankful for good, old-fashioned, tactile books.

day 8

it's been unusually warm up here in cold minnesota.  and, though a part of me fears that at any moment a blizzard could drop out of no where, nonetheless i am enjoying this unseasonably warm weather.  i love autumn, and the extension of it is always something i am grateful for.  so, here on this eighth day of november, in this month that i am trying to cultivate a heart of gratitude...

day 8: i am thankful for this warm weather.

day 7

having spent much of my day feeling pretty gross and having lots of time to consider what i am thankful for...  i'm gonna have to go with my amazingly comfortable bed with it's snuggly covers and abundant pillows.

day 7: i'm thankful for my bed.

day 6

when i was growing up, my mother told me never to marry a farmer.  and, frankly, i didn't really intend to.  but, into my life walked a wonderful man who happened to farm.  since the day my mother met travis, she never again mentioned that i should steer clear of farmers, in fact, it's been quite the opposite.  :)  while there are days that this part time job of my husband's crimps my style, more often than not, i am very thankful that in God's perfect wisdom He paired me with a farmer. there is something wonderful about having such an attachment to the land.  there is something gratifying about knowing where the beef in your stew came from. there is something rich about the faith that grows through farming...the seeing firsthand how the good Lord gives and takes away, how a good year for the crops causes you to praise Him and a bad one pushes you to grow.

day 6:  so today, i'm thankful for farmers...and especially for the one i call mine.

day 5

this week both of my parents went to the doctor for cancer check-ups and received good reports from their doctors.  it seems odd to put this in the same paragraph, but this great news coupled with the sniffles and sore throats that travis and i have acquired in the last 24 hours remind me how thankful i am for my family's good health.

day 5: i am thankful for the blessing of good health.

day 4

this morning while we were having coffee, trav and i saw two deer milling around behind our house.  we stood and watched them for a while talking about how thankful we are to have this backyard that overlooks a marshy-lake.

i just whipped up a loaf of really healthy and yummy banana bread in my well-stocked kitchen.  and, all of the dishes will slide right into my dishwasher for their cleaning regimen while i enjoy a slice of tasty banana bread and a cup of coffee.

here i sit in my cozy living room with my laptop overlooking that beautiful view.  i am warm.  i am comfortable.  i am dry and out of the wind.

day 4: i am so thankful for this place that we call home.  for many years i longed for a place that i could cook and entertain in, a place that i wouldn't have to move from in six months, a place that truly felt like home.  and, in God's grace and perfect timing, here i am.  and i am so thankful...

day 3

there certainly are a lot of things i am thankful for.  since i'm sharing my blessings in no particular order, it has been really fun to think about the specific gifts of each day.

i've been reflecting on my week so far, and an obvious trend has emerged.  at the risk of listing only relationships the first week, i'm going to have to say that today i am especially thankful for my mentors.  trav and i have had the opportunity to meet with a handful of really special people we respect and love in the past seven days.  last friday we met with Pastor Matt, monday we met with Rich and Joyce, and last night we met with Jim and Jan.  each of these meetings was significant and has challenged us to grow.  and, i'm thankful for that.  somewhere deep within me there is a purifying that needs to happen before i head back into ministry.  and, within the context of marriage, we both have room to improve.  so, i appreciate the insight and truthful yet loving words that each of these mentors have shared with us.  i'm thankful that people take the roles described in Timothy and Titus seriously using their experience for God's glory and are investing in Trav and i individually as well as in our marriage.

day 3:  today i am giving thanks for the mentors that God has placed in my life.

day 2

four years ago today a very turbulent ride began for my family and i.  my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer.  the process of her treatment and healing dramatically changed my life forever.  the hardest day of my life was the day of her mastectomy when my father called me in Massachusetts to tell me that the doctors had found cancer in eleven of her lymph nodes.  throughout her recovery from surgery, chemotherapy and radiation, i prayed that the Lord would do something amazing.  And, He did.  He healed her...and, in His mercy, He healed me.  He used evil for good drawing us closer and closer to His side.

Day 2:  So, today I celebrate my mother's life in a special way.  I am so very thankful to be able to continue to share life with her.

and in honor of day 1...

Beautiful Things

All this pain
I wonder if I’ll ever find my way
I wonder if my life could really change at all
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You

You make me new, You are making me new

day 1

a friend of mine challenged her friends to give thanks for something every day of november.  after thinking about it for some time, i realized the exercise was challenging me to consider the many blessings around me.  so, here i go on the journey toward thanksgiving.

Day 1:   today i am especially thankful for a few dear friends who like God are more concerned about my character than about my comfort.  i am thankful for their words that sharpen  me and their presence walking with me as i struggle to become more and more holy.  and, i'm thankful they see promise in me and believe in me even when i don't.  i'm better off having known them...

washed and waiting: a recommendation

at the recommendation of a good friend of mine, i've been reading the book Washed and Waiting. Wesley Hill does a fantastic job telling his story and sharing his reflections on Christian faithfulness and homosexuality.  i'll be honest, when i started reading the book i was a little hesitant about using my time to learn more about and dig deeper into the homosexuality debate as there are a lot of books about what's right and what's not, and they are often written in a tone that lacks humility.  however, Hill is far from having hubris.  his humble presentation of his thoughts was gripping, and his story is a powerful testimony for all of us -- not just those who struggle with homosexuality or are struggling through their  theology regarding this hotly debated topic.  his honest candor about the role of sin in his life was refreshing and provided encouragement to continue on as a Christian seeking after sanctifying growth and awaiting that day when glorification will be known.  i'm thankful the book landed in my hands, and i'd encourage you to check it out, too.

 

a few quotes to chew on until you pick up the book....

"Engaging with God and entering the transformative life of the church does not mean we get a kind of 'free pass,' an unconditional love that leaves us where we are.  Instead, we get a fiercely demanding love, a divine love that will never let us escape from its purifying, renovating, and ultimately healing grip" (68).

"Though it sounds politically incorrect to modern ears, the gospel has always said that God may demand from us what he wants, since we do not belong to ourselves" (69).

"One of the hardest-to-swallow, most countercultural, counterintuitive implications of the gospel is that bearing up under a difficult burden with patient perseverance is a good thing" (71).

"I have come to realize my need to take the New Testament witness seriously that groaning and grief and feeling broken are legitimate ways for me to express my cross-bearing discipleship to Jesus.  It's not as if groaning means I am somehow doing something wrong.  Groaning is a sign of my fidelity" (119).

"The Bible calls the Christian struggle against sin faith (Hebrews 12:3-4; 10:37-19).  It calls the Christian fight against impure cravings holiness (Romans 6:12-13, 22).  So I am trying to appropriate these biblical descriptions for myself.  I am learning to look at my daily wrestling with disordered desires and call it trust.  I am learning to look at my battle to keep from giving in to my temptations and call it sanctification.  I am learning to see that my flawed, imperfect, yet never-giving-up faithfulness is precisely the spiritual fruit that God will praise me for on the last day, to ultimate honor of Jesus Christ" (146).

moments unrehearsed

ok. i'm finally doing it. i'm starting my photography business. here are a few from this past week:

[slideshow]

for now, find me on facebook --  moments unrehearsed: photography by julia dahlke

mad.

today i'm mad at the Church.  not proud of it.  but, it feels good to have it out in the open.

maybe it's because i've been cleaning and sorting and organizing this weekend which naturally brings up a lot of memories.  or maybe it is this dreary fall weather.  maybe it's another sunday morning of unfamiliarity.  whatever it is, it is.

the sad part is i know i'm not alone.

one thing i am very, very thankful for is that my God is not the Church.  my God works through the Church, but is not the Church.  and, my God, He loves the Church and chose to accomplish His purposes through this broken vessel filled with His sinner-saint children.  so, i guess if it is good enough for Him, it really should be good enough for me.  but, i'll be honest, today it's not.

oh Holy Father, restore in me a love for your ecclesia, your  body, your fellowship, your Church.  help me to love not only the idea, but the reality of not-yet-fully restored people.  help me to love the bumps and bruises as much as the beauty of it.  and, then, Lord, help me to serve there...loving with abandon.  using my gifts in freedom.  enjoying your children -- who you have redeemed and loved.  oh, Lord, help me to love.     -Amen (let it be so.)

oh Holy Father, restore in us, all of your children, a love for your ecclesia, your  body, your fellowship, your Church.  help us, all of your children, to love not only the idea, but the reality of not-yet-fully restored people.  help us, all of your children, to love the bumps and bruises as much as the beauty of it.  and, then, Lord, help us, all of your children, to serve there...loving with abandon.  using our gifts in freedom.  enjoying each other, your children -- who you have redeemed and loved.  oh, Lord, help us, all of your children, to love.    -Amen (let it be so.)

After giving myself antlers,

making funny air noises with my mouth and experimenting with a variety of other facial expressions, I've realized something.  I will do many crazy things to get a belly-laugh from the little lady I babysit.  I wonder how many other feats I should be doing crazy things to achieve...

nail

rise and shine

fall fun

[slideshow]

back here

With my father-in-law chisel plowing in the field and my brother-in-law hauling the last loads of round bales, Travis needed me to help him bale the hay that had recently been cut.  I climbed on the H and, with a little instruction, pulled the wagon up to the yard.  We hooked the wagon to the baler, Travis climbed on the tractor while I jumped on the wagon, and we headed down to the hay meadow.  Since it is the end of the season and there wasn't much grass to be baled, it took a long time for the square bales to push their way into existence.  So, I sat on the wagon and reflected on the day's events in between stacking bales.

There is something so refreshing about being on the farm -- a simplicity and quietness that fields and meadows whisper.  And, there is something about good, honest, hard work that really is invigorating.  Sometimes I feel like I'm back where I started.  As a little girl I said I would never live on the farm... then I decided it wouldn't be so bad... then I moved to Boston and had little desire to go back and get my hands dirty... and then something pulled me back there.  Back where we can tomatoes and pickles and slaughter our own meat.  Back where we hang our clothes on the line.  Back where we work hard all day, laugh hard all night, and then settle down by watching the stars.  Back there.  Yes, back here to the place my city friends mocked.  Back here where English is spoken with fewer articles and longer vowels.  Back here where you really do know your neighbors, really do care about their lives and really are there to lend a helping hand when life gets difficult.  Back here where I am aware of God's presence and where I worship while I work.  Back here.

And, as I stacked those bales on the back of the wagon, I thought about my grandpa Ralph, and I thought about how proud he would be to know that I was out there doing some good, honest, hard work with my husband.  And, I paused a moment as I thanked God that in His wisdom He brought this little girl back here.

beans are done!

corn in the beans

Yesterday Trav and I were looking over his field as the beans were being harvested.



We noticed a lot of corn stalks with nice-sized ears of corn on them.  When the combine harvests the beans, it also takes in the corn which means you end up with corn in your beans. Now, corn is a valuable crop, but when it's in your beans, not so much.  When farmers sell their beans, they are docked for corn that is found in the load.  So, we ran around the field pulling off all of the ears of corn we could and threw them in the back of the truck.  As I was looking over the corn, something about my past six months of life got my attention.

God has gifted his children with various and numerous gifts to build His Kingdom here in this world.  Each gift is valuable.  But, sometimes, I wonder if we try to practice our gifts in the wrong places.  I wonder how often God's children grow frustrated because they feel they aren't being given opportunity to practice their gifts in the best possible way.  I wonder how often feelings of self-doubt appear because volunteers are not working out of their areas of most giftedness.  I wonder how often people get burned out because they are constantly trying to do what isn't natural for them.  I wonder...

marriage and my imperfections

I’ve been thinking about commitment because I really couldn’t do this marriage thing without it.  I would crumble into a pile of anxious, works-based acts, constantly trying to win Travis’ love.  Every failure would lead me to question how close I was to the I’m-done-with-this bar.  Every selfish motive would take me to a concerned place that required repentance.  Every unkind word would put a pit in my stomach and a hope that he wasn’t going to leave me.  And, it strikes me that this is an awful way to live.

Now, let’s be honest, I’m strong-willed and difficult – a blessing and a curse.  Some days my 31 years of independence rise up and explode all over the place.  And sometimes, the explosion is greeted by kind eyes and lips that tip toward the ground, strong arms that embrace and gentle fingers that wipe away the tears.  Other times the explosion is met by an equally large outburst brought on by his 31 years of autonomy.  And, that’s ok…because at the end of the rage, after the words have been said (or shouted), whether a solution has been found or not – he loves me.  His commitment to me drips all over the place as he continues to serve me and care for me and meet my needs even in the midst of many imperfections.  And, I am moved as I have come to know that this is a most blessed way to live.

And it all reminds me of someone else I know… someone else who has served me and cared for me and met my needs... even amidst my many imperfections.

losing my life...

lyrics:

Well I was 19 you were 21
The year we got engaged
Everyone said we were much to young
But we did it anyway
We got the rings for 40 each from a pawnshop down the road
We said our vows and took the leap now 15 years ago

Chorus:
We went dancing in the minefields
We went sailing in the storm
And it was harder than we dreamed
But I believe that’s what the promise was for

Well ‘I do’ are the two most famous last words
The beginning of the end
But to lose your life for another I’ve heard is a good place to begin
Cause the only way to find your life is to lay your own life down
And I believe it’s an easy price for the life that we have found

Chorus:
And we’re dancing in the minefields
We’re went sailing in the storm
And it was harder than we dreamed
But I believe that’s what the promise was for
That’s what the promise is for

Bridge:
So when I lose my way, find me
When I lose loves chains, bind me
At the end of all my faith
to the end of all my days
when I forget my name, remind me

Cause we bear the light of the son of man
So there’s nothing left to fear
So I’ll walk with you in the shadow lands
Till the shadows disappear
Cause he promised not to leave us
And his promises are true
So in the face of this chaos baby
I can dance with you

Chorus:
So lets go dancing in the minefields
Lets go sailing in the storms
Oh lets go dancing in the minefields
And kicking down the doors
Oh lets go dancing in the minefields
And sailing in the storms
Oh this is harder than we dreamed
But I believe that’s what the promise if for
That’s what the promise is for

socks

and the two became one.

Quiet.  Still.  The autumn air has moved in as though it was invited, and for the first time in weeks – perhaps months – my world is at rest.

The galvanized steel pails have returned to their shelves.

The satin, brown bows have been untied.

The flowers have been hung to dry.

And, the people…  the people have all returned home.

Us, too.  And, that’s the crazy thing.  It’s “us” now.  We are the Dahlkes, the couple that lives in the little tan house, the family that has just begun.  With a few little words, and a couple of signatures, a covenant made and a simple pronouncement, we are something new.  Just like that two journeys are stilled, two paths are merged and then pronounced one.

So, I’ll take this little pause with the autumn air and the chirping birds.  I’ll sit here for a moment on this quiet deck.  I’ll be still, yes, quiet, and marvel at what God has done.

And, the two became one.